F**K IT MILES, GIVE ME SOME PRIVACY

Especially when I'm alone, I often sing very loud. And at times making notes doesn't feel right on the computer and I write them down in a notebook instead. When I want speed, I type. When I want to leave room for creativity, I use a pen and paper instead. When I'm trying to solve a problem, I often draw about it: graphs, lists, pictures, whatever helps me to solve it. When I feel energetic and hear good music, I dance like crazy. I play characters to my kids at times, because they love it and it's a great way for me to perform exactly the amount I feel happy performing. But most of all, I write. I don't know how a pine cone fits the picture though. Image: pixabay.com I have been writing since I was a child. My first story was about a girl with long, blue hair. She didn't do anything in particular, she just was particular. I think the date of this story is in 1989. In my youth, I wrote letters and stories. My teachers encouraged me year after year. My f...

His teacher told me "he spoke to me today for the first time" just as his sister walked by. He looked up to her so much, to him she was sublime. And he jumped to hug her instantly. She kicked my butt on Mario Kart eight. Consoled me by "don't worry mom, you'll get better at it!" I was old compared to her, it was no debate. She continued by winning the next seven rounds. "Mom, I want you to lie next to me when I fall asleep," he said. I tugged him in and brushed his hair with my fingers. And I fell asleep right then and there in the same small bed. Happy about being their mother.

In life, there are always challenges. There are those that happen to us, like sudden big changes in life, and then there are those we deliberately choose to face, like a university degree or moving to another country. However, this time I'll choose to talk about my 2017 twelve monthly challenges. In the beginning of the year, I took upon myself to see through 12 monthly challenges. Right now I'm running six days behind on my May gratitude challenge, which is kind of a big deal for me, as I've been able to keep up with the challenges more or less on the right days. But I'm still going on, still keeping myself busy. Image: pixabay.com In January I did a Notes from the Universe challenge that was very eye opening. I wrote letters to my future self, I lived and breathed my dreams every day and I do feel overall only good things came out of it. In February I did a writing challenge. Some of the days I just wanted to brush off quickly and I allowed myse...

Traditionally Finns are known for being quiet, unable to do small talk, introverted bunch of people who are the unyielding champions of seeking ways to keep their sacred personal space. This, of course, is the stereotype of a traditional Finn and does not apply to everyone without compromises here and there. Having lived a third of my life outside the borders of Finland, I have had to shed some of the traditional expectations off just to keep my sanity. I consciously try to stand closer to people that I would normally seek to do. I kiss people on the cheek when I notice they are about to do just that. I talk sometimes when there's a quiet moment and I express myself a lot with my face. (On a side note: the Finnish F1 driver Kimi Räikkönen, who is known for his expressionless face, has something inexplicably in common with my features: once I was standing at a bus station in Italy and a person approached me to ask me if I was Finnish, because I looked so much like Räikkönen. Ano...

There is an incredible amount of great stories that have spoken to me in my life, but possibly above all is the story written by Andy Weir (the same guy who wrote The Martian ) called The Egg . I have been advertising it so much lately that needless to say it's possibly my absolute favorite story. Now I'm going to tell you why. If you have yet to read the story, it's available here . SPOILER ALERT! Image: pixabay.com The Egg is human eggistence existence, on its course to mature into a God-like deity. Our experiences in all of the specter are here to mold us into that who has experienced what it means to be human. All of our consciousnesses derive from the same source and in that sense we're all ONE. The consciousness that is writing this, is the same consciousness that wrote The Egg and is the same consciousness of you right there reading these stories. Having always been interested in reincarnation and "the human experience" and being som...

I got completely stuck with my gratitude challenge, when I was asked to show gratitude to a SONG. I thought about it every day and could not figure out which song(s) I should pick. I love music, but I love so much of it that nothing seemed to be distinguishably better than the next song. Of course I like some better than the others, but there just isn't a song that is my absolute favorite year after year. So, in the end, I realized I'm going to write the things music has gotten me to do. If it wasn't for Fool's Garden's "Lemon Tree" , I would've never realized how much you can learn a language through singing. I was around 10 years of age when it was a big hit and with my class, we sang it to our parents at the end of the school year. I still know the lyrics by heart... The same counts for the movie the Sound of Music . If it wasn't for Italian opera, I would have never chosen Italy for my exchange student year. If it wasn't for Stroma...

It's the phone call, the message, the card in the mail, the letter from a person whose handwriting I recognize immediately. It's the teacher that takes the time to help my children to be the best versions of themselves. It's that person who says a kind word, that who helps unconditionally, that who includes, invites. It's the person that celebrates your victories and hugs you surprisingly. That person who asks you to go out to enjoy life and that person who comes to your house and helps you take care of business. It's also the person who rubs me the wrong way and with this teaches me immensely about myself and life. Image: pixabay.com As a matter of fact, I'm grateful for people in general in my life. The older I get, the more I get that we need all kinds of people and circumstances in our lives. Stars need the darkness to shine not only metaphorically, but in reality. If you only experience one side of everything, you can't truly define what you...

I recently read about the 36 questions to fall in love with anybody. Since my mother-in-law was staying with us last week, on Friday my husband and I went out for a few drinks. But before we left the house, I downloaded an app called 36 to love. Around 10 in the evening we sat down on high bar stools and I told him I'd like to give this experiment a try. Luckily he was on board immediately, curious about the process. Surely we have been together for over 10 years by now (married for nearly 7), we have children and we're all in all a somewhat regular couple with life's ups and downs. We desperately didn't need this project, but we could potentially benefit from it, so it was a no brainer for both of us. Image: pixabay.com The point of the game is to answer the question on the screen. Both participants take turns and once both are happy with each other's answers and have done the after talk that evidently follows, the question will be swiped to the left ...

Although art comes in many forms, I will concentrate on three pieces that I'm particularly grateful for. All of these have stirred something in me I didn't know existed before that moment. 1. Albert Edelfelt - Poltettu Kylä (Burnt Village - 1879) I remember seeing the picture of this painting in my history book sometime during elementary school and I would go back to look at it every now and again during history lessons. (Judging from this repetitive action I probably wasn't paying enough attention to the teaching.) It's a painting of peasant uprising during the Cudgel War (1596-1597) in the Kingdom of Sweden, which Finland at that point was also a part of. The painting obviously is a couple of hundreds years younger than the war itself, but nonetheless Albert Edelfelt has managed to capture some essential parts of the war: the fear, the simple weaponry, the conditions, the threat, the possibility of their lives ending in a few moments after "capturi...

There was a time the first of our species took a piece of sharp rock in their hands and hit a fruit or a nut (or an enemy) with it, only to become the first one ever to use a tool. Their peers would then learn that a walnut opens much easier with a rock than with your teeth or fingernails. Knowledge was shared and passed onto generations. Little by little humans were learning cumulatively: always building on the foundation of knowledge and adding their own discoveries. 8000 BC the Sumerians grew wheat and barley and gave birth to the concept of agriculture. Only some 10 000 years later the farmed wheat had turned from a loaf of bread into a loaf of sliced bread sold in markets around the globe. Any of the following steps would not have been possible if it weren't for that first knowledge of how to cultivate wheat. There are some primal things you know, for example the smell of feces repulse you for a reason as it's something you should leave be and not stick your fin...

My belly is happy, for I just had lunch. It's really hot today - I should've worn lighter shoes, but my body is regulating itself nicely. My body is using senses to code my surroundings: what I feel, see, smell and hear. My ears are located on two sides, which makes it possible for me to pinpoint the direction a sound is coming from. I've got two eyes to make sure I see things like depth. Our bodies are so amazing thanks to evolution wanting to keep us alive and kicking. And while I do all that, my autonomic nervous system takes care of the primary functions of my body: it makes sure I keep on breathing, that my heart keeps on beating, it regulates my temperature, blood pressure, digestive system and any other body function that happens without my decision, but that is essential to keep me going. Image: pixabay.com No matter if I'm awake or asleep, my brain is always aware, processing information. That's how a fire alarm wakes you up in the middle of the ...

Growing up in Finland I used to be very familiar with the four extremely different seasons of the year. Summers were short, but usually hot. Forest and lakes belonged to my childhood as I spent a lot of time at our summer place in the woods, swimming and fishing. Quattro stagioni - four seasons. Image: pixabay.com Summers were followed by the relief of getting back to schoolwork. The nature was turning its leaves to colorful masterpieces, all of a sudden the Sun wasn't warm enough on your skin and every autumn the first time your breath fogged up in the morning, it was a realization the summer was officially over. Winter began in November, but sometimes the first snow arrived as early as October. The air was cold, the snow was unusual deep in the first months of the year and the speed with our sleighs was fast enough to make our eyes water. And then, then came spring. The snow gradually melted, the grass was dull green at first, but soon enough it was so green you just ...

Today's gratitude challenge is to answer what sights I'm grateful for today in particular. Since it's Mother's Day, this is one of the sights I captured today that I'm incredibly grateful for: The kids were enjoying themselves immensely. After swimming my daughter came to sit next to me and her grin was from ear to ear when she said to me "this is the best day ever!" We rarely let them play in this water, because during summer algae grows there and a lot of birds use the beach as a toilet, but since it's only the beginning of summer, the water is cold, but on the plus side there's no algae or birds yet. I was also woken up to the most wonderful sight one could wish for. My kids climbed over me to wake me up for my special day and they were just so full of life and energy and excitement. Finally it was their chance to give me the things they had been making, and their artworks, paper flower bouquets and self made coupons were so beautiful, to...

I'm grateful I can adapt. Move to another country and become a mother, get over myself worrying about the unknown. I'm grateful I have the ability to embrace change or transform thought into words. I'm grateful I have the ability to climb out of a ditch when for a moment I've believed I wasn't enough. Life is all we got and most of the time it's really quite good (or at least it's most of the time what you make of it). Our abilities, or rather the willingness of learning new abilities, is what partly makes is so great. In every case you'll always have more than one choice: you can accept or you can pull back from opportunities. You can say yes or no, stay or go.  In the light of this, I'd personally say one of the abilities I have that I'm very grateful for is the ability to step into the unknown, scare myself, take a risk, big or small: start a small talk with a person without knowing what I'm going to say (when I know I am not a pers...

It's often overlooked, yet enjoyed daily by absolutely everyone. It rarely gets the recognition it deserves, so today it's all about showing gratitude to that one thing: texture. It's present in the perfectly fluffy and dry towel that actually absorbs and don't just look it. It's the al dente pasta that you can feel on your teeth , unlike that soggy macaroni alla scuola finlandese, which is an excellent example of unpleasant texture. There's silky texture in freshly shaved legs and there's addicting texture in bubble wrap. Texture is the surface of your teeth that you comb with your tongue after you have brushed, and texture is in the grass between your toes and the tree bark beneath your hand. Texture is important when eating and crucial when dieting: low-carbs don't include many properly crunchy things that are enjoyable (celery is so not one of them). It's also the reason your favorite toilet paper is what it is and also why your least favorite...

Holidays are paradoxically the best and sometimes the hardest part of the year. There's usually at least some level of expectation what's going to happen, where we'll go, what we'll do and how we're supposed to feel about it all. As a family of five it's only bound to happen every once in a while that just when the holiday is around the corner, someone gets sick. The last example is only from two weeks ago when our children were on holiday for two weeks from school, our youngest one got chickenpox. There's absolutely nothing to do about it once it's on. From the holiday's perspective it got cut short for a few days and we spent more than enough time at home waiting for him to recover before even attempting some local things to do to make up for the lost time.  Something similar happened two Christmases ago when we traveled to Finland and during our holiday there, we only had one day at the destination when everyone was feeling well enough to d...

Smoked salmon on freshly baked rye bread. New harvest potatoes with dill and butter. Emmental, mozzarella, Leerdammer. Just hand me already the cheese cutter! Fridge cold dry white wine. Thai green curry chicken with potatoes. First bite of a proper pizza alla cipolla. Spanish omelette with big, plum tomatoes. Watermelon, red grapes, sweet apple. Asparagus risotto with Parmesan cheese. Ice-cold fruit smoothies with a thick straw. My mouth's already watering, please! Strawberry-spinach salad with balsamic vinegar. Blueberries and chanterelles from the forest I know. Chocolate and ice cream, maple syrup. Fresh yeast to make cardamom bread dough. Lasagna and mozzarella. Proper hot dogs with good mustard. Cinnamon buns with vanilla. Scones with blackberry jam and lemon custard. Basil and roasted pine nuts. Frosty beer from the tap served from a proper jug. Grilled bell pepper and mushrooms. Tea with honey served in my f...

One of the hardest thing about the gratitude challenge - and coincidentally the most wonderful thing - is to pick favorites. Yesterday it was hard to pick one book over the others to feel gratitude to, so I took a trip down the memory lane of all the different genres I've been interested in over the years. Today's question is which place I'm most grateful for. When I moved to the Netherlands, I arrived here with one suitcase. Most of the items I left behind didn't mean enough to bring with me in order to be able to call my then boyfriend, now husband's apartment in Amsterdam home. It became home the moment he asked me to stay during my first ever visit to the Netherlands. Over the years we have lived, besides in Amsterdam, in and around the city of Delft and whether it has been a rental place or a house we bought, it always felt like home, because of the people I was sharing it with and the emotional ties to the place. The same occurs when I visit my parents...

I learned to read before my 4th birthday. No one pushed me to it, but it was a combination of being the youngest of four children and having curiosity to decode the letters into proper thoughts. Throughout my childhood I read children's books, but at one point I stopped reading almost entirely anything other than schoolwork.  Nothing just seemed to interest me! My teacher was pushing me to choose a Moomin book from the school library and I read it, but only to please my teacher. As much as I loved the cartoons, the book wasn't speaking to me at all. Then somehow, I can't remember how or when, I was introduced to a translated book series by a German author Angela Sommer-Bodenburg about a little vampire. It wasn't long that I had read them all and I wanted more. Image: pixabay.com This book series, Pikku Vampyyri (Der kleine Vampir) , was the nudge I needed to get into reading seriously. Comic books followed and when I was around 12, I read And Then There Were...

My grandparents used to live in the same house with me, just upstairs of my family's home, when I was a child. As a child I never realized how lucky I was with such rare living arrangements: my parents and grandparents had bought the house together, albeit it was an unusual thing to do in Finland at that time. This said, I got to spend time with my grandparents every day during winter and when the snow had melted, they would back up their car and drive to their summer place. My family had a summer place right next to theirs, so when the school was out, I spent a lot of time with my grandparents at the cottage while both of my parents were at work. My paternal grandparents. There are an incredibly rich amount of memories I have from my childhood with them: their strawberry patch at the summer place, the way my grandpa could peel an apple and make the peel into one long string without breaking it. I remember the evenings they took me with them in the boat when they went to ...

The question is what am I grateful for in the nature? I'm grateful nature is persistent. That it's flourishing. That it's everywhere. I'm grateful nature is colorful. Providing. Scary even. I'm grateful it's so self-sufficient. I'm grateful nature is so selfish. Healthy. Evolved. Versatile. And that we humans are part of it.