F**K IT MILES, GIVE ME SOME PRIVACY

Tonight I removed all of my followers on Instagram. It was a private account with some 200+ followers, but I admit, removing most of them actually hurt. I did it, because Instagram was no longer the social media I began using in July 2012. In the beginning I would only post pictures of our every day life. Whenever my children were in the photos, I would photograph them so that you couldn't see their faces. Then somewhere in the middle I turned my then public account into a private one and started to share more open content. Over the years I've posted nearly 4000 pictures of our every day life. In the end I realized I was looking at the number of people liking my posts rather than the posts and trying to understand why the adorable picture of my kid got three likes, or the actually very beautiful picture of a make-believe satellite received full two likes, while someone's black and white picture of a cake - that would be impossible to understand was cake without the desc

Finland is celebrating its 100 years of independence this year. I recently moved back to this country, my native land, after spending nearly 11 years living in the Netherlands. Since I've also spent a year in Italy as an exchange student, I've been educated and have experienced a reverse culture shock before. This said, getting back to being a citizen of Finland had a very short honeymoon this time. It all started when I went to apply for a SIM-card for my phone. Because I haven't lived in Finland for the last two years, they had no way of checking my credentials, so they treated me like someone who was unreliable, a criminal. I couldn't walk out of the store with the SIM-card, but I had to have it delivered through mail (and as an unreliable customer I had to pay the expanses of this transaction). If I don't pay a 100 euros to my provider, I'm not allowed to make any calls to abroad nor use my phone account for any sort of extra payments, such as donating mon

Before I start talking about moving from one European country to another, with a passport that opens more doors than most other passports in the world, let me say one thing: I am privileged. I have a friend who once stepped on a shaky raft in Turkey in the hopes of rescuing herself and her two children from war torn Syria. Her hometown was heavily bombed. She was a wealthy woman once, and now she had to leave her house, belongings and cars behind. The raft that she took, broke, and she found herself in the middle of the Mediterranean Sea. To her luck she and her daughters were rescued and in the end they were granted an official status in one European country. When I was moving to Finland, she asked me if we were taking all of our belongings with us. I felt guilty talking to her about our move, because I knew her story and just a day before I had been complaining about moving stress. I realized I had been the biggest ass, complaining about something that many people don't even

Today I'm to write about five items or things I lust after. Some of those are things I've once had and miss, some are things I see myself having. Either way, I've arranged them in the order of preference, in case the Universe is listening. 1. Tesla model S. No surprises here. I love this car, not because it's a cool car, but for so many other reasons as well. The idea behind it, the meaning the whole design process from scratch holds, the man behind it as well. These days no other car simply impresses me, other than other models of Tesla. Anything else seems like old world somehow. 2. A huge wall-sized bookcase full of books of my choosing. Ideally, something that looks like this: 3. Sauna. For many, sauna is a luxury. For a Finn like myself, it's a normal thing to have. I miss it a lot and I've told my husband having my own sauna in the Netherlands is my price of moving here. I'm here for over ten years and still waiting for my sauna though...

I did a similar writing challenge in February. Back then I had to write down my top three pet peeves, which were 1) People who feel the need to fall into the role of a victim, 2) Chewing with mouth open and 3) Narrating what I'm doing when I'm already doing something. Now it's time to write about five more pet peeves, which is turning up to be a challenge, since even for those three I really had to dig deep, but here goes: 1) Complaining for the joy of complaining. If you complain, I'll try to figure out how I could be helping you out, or what might be a solution to your problem. It's just an idea and means nothing else than "please, it's not the end of the world". Although complaining can be fun, mostly it's exhausting for both the listener AND the one who's doing the complaining. I fall for this occasionally too, so it's only understandable sometimes, as long as it's not a way of life. Funnily enough, pet peeves are all more o

Today's writing challenge is made for someone other than me, but I'll write a little about it nonetheless. The subject is "things I want to say to an ex". I've always been a rather easy about my exes. So here goes: - There were reasons why I chose to be with you. I still appreciate these attributes in you and I'm sure there are plenty of others who do too. - Thank you for making me grow. - Thank you for all those times you believed in me. - Thank you for all those good times. - I hope you remain to have good memories too. - I hope you are happy. / I hope you find your happiness. I don't feel the need to dwell in the past. The people I have known have unknowingly prepared me for future whether those are ex-boyfriends or otherwise ex-friends that no longer are an active part of my life. All of those people needed to be in my life at those times for me to find myself where I am today. Above all, thank you for existing. Image: pixabay.com

Wake up at 7:05. Two out of three kids are in our bed. The 4-year-old is wearing stripy pants and tells me first thing in the morning "Look, I'm a zebra!" By 8 o'clock I've showered, the kids are ready to go to school, their school bags are packed, my bags are ready. 8:20-8:30 sitting in my son's classroom. We are reading a book about bees, which he chose. Reading to kids before the school day starts is an essential part of school day. Most days my husband brings the kids to school, but I have to be in the center shortly anyway, so today I'm there as well. 8:40-9:00 breakfast in the center of Delft at Cortado's. 9:15-10:30 interviewing a fellow mom at Kek. 10:45-11:40 sitting in the library answering emails, writing this, updating my calendar etc. Delft central library. 11:40-11:55 grocery shopping. 12:00 picking up kids for lunch. 12:00-13:15 lunch at home. It's a hot day. Freshening up and bringing the kids back to school.

I've been an advocate for positive reinforcement for a while now. It all started when I realized I think a lot of good things about the people around me and I don't say many of those things out loud. Paying a compliment or taking time to notice someone's efforts also makes me feel good, so there's the underlying selfish factor involved as well. When someone pays you a sincere compliment, it'll help you to build further on your strengths. However, this is a slow process, because you might need to try a lot of things before finding the right path to set your foot onto. We generally like to think we don't need other people's approval to do things, but humans naturally mirror off of each other in good and bad throughout our lives, so you might as well use it for your advantage. Image: pixabay.com Sincere negative feedback makes all the difference In the recent times I've come to understand that we should not only say the positive things about ea

1. Be bold with your sense of humor. Say the weirdest things out loud. Generally being funny works very well. (Although I should mention, if our values are very far apart, these methods will never work.) 2. Give me something yummy, such as a really good pizza. 3. Know something about my kids or my life that I'd possibly expect you to not have paid attention to. 4. Tell me something I don't know. Something interesting or mind-boggling. Show me how frigging intelligent you are. Tell me you heard something and thought of me. (Hopefully something nice though. I mean if you heard a fact about cows and then proceed to tell me you thought of me, I might not warm up so easily.) 5. Be authentic and treat people around you well. Image: pixabay.com Extra:   Pronounce my name correctly. Maybe even toss in a few words of Finnish in a conversation that you've obviously learned just for me. My first language is not one of those that everyone knows a little bit, so

First things first. The May Gratitude Challenge has been a really interesting monthly challenge. I got stuck at one point, but I also got it resolved and have written a blogpost about each and every one of the questions. Some of them have been better than others, but all of them I've thought and wrote about. I'm almost there. Just. One. More. The last question of the challenge is "What talent or skill do you have that you are grateful for?" I used to think talent was something one was born with. I've spent years waiting to discover some hidden talents. I've expected to try something and realize I'm a natural phenomenon in it, and I've let myself down so many times after beginner's luck ran out. On top of that, the things I found myself somewhat "talented" in, I somehow thought don't need practicing, because I already got them in the bag. That's exactly where I went wrong time after time. Skill, on the other hand, had alway

"You have no idea what your legacy will be. Your legacy is every life that you've touched. -- We like to think that these great philanthropic moments are the ones that leave the impact or will make the huge difference in the world, but it's really what you do every day. It's how you use your life to be a light to somebody else," Oprah paraphrases Maya Angelo in this clip . Your life and actions matter so much more than you will probably ever come to know.  Image: pixabay.com Today's gratitude challenge is asking who family member or a friend I'm grateful for. I did something very similar on Facebook the other day, tagging a couple of family members and friends to tell them how in particular they've affected my life. I chose the kind of things that people might not have realized they've been my role models in. However, I only chose a few people for that and I possibly could've come up a thing or two out of almost all the people on my

I cycled to bring my son back to school after lunch. It was 13:15 when I arrived in front of the store with my shopping list. Only when I was parking the bike, I realized I had completely forgotten to take a coin with me to get a shopping cart. Luckily I had a note in my wallet, so I went to the cash register of a small café that is under the same organization of the store. I told them I'd like to break the note to get a coin for the shopping cart. The man behind the counter took a key hanger with a coin that fits the cart and said to me "I'll give you this instead, but just remember to take it with you next time you shop!" I was obviously not the first one asking this and they had come up with a system instead of constantly having to run out of coins in their own registry, because people asked to break notes into coins. Nonetheless, this action made me really happy. I attached the key hanger immediately onto my keys, so I'd have one with me every time when goin

The question today is what small thing I use daily that I'm grateful for. I'm grateful for my house key, for it opens the door to my home. I'm grateful for my phone, for it connects me with the rest of the world. I'm grateful for my bike, which is smaller than a car at least, for it takes us places. I'm grateful for my my headphones, for they seclude me when I need it. I'm grateful for my contact lenses and my glasses, for they make my life so much easier. I'm grateful for zippers that work, buttons that close, strings that tie shoes. Life would be a mess if clothes didn't stay on the way they were intended to. There are so many things, big and small that I'm grateful for, but the smallest things I'm grateful for are the cells in the bodies of me and my loved ones. The atoms that make up our whole Universe. Image: pixabay.com

Especially when I'm alone, I often sing very loud. And at times making notes doesn't feel right on the computer and I write them down in a notebook instead. When I want speed, I type. When I want to leave room for creativity, I use a pen and paper instead. When I'm trying to solve a problem, I often draw about it: graphs, lists, pictures, whatever helps me to solve it. When I feel energetic and hear good music, I dance like crazy. I play characters to my kids at times, because they love it and it's a great way for me to perform exactly the amount I feel happy performing. But most of all, I write. I don't know how a pine cone fits the picture though. Image: pixabay.com I have been writing since I was a child. My first story was about a girl with long, blue hair. She didn't do anything in particular, she just was particular. I think the date of this story is in 1989. In my youth, I wrote letters and stories. My teachers encouraged me year after year. My f

His teacher told me "he spoke to me today for the first time" just as his sister walked by. He looked up to her so much, to him she was sublime. And he jumped to hug her instantly. She kicked my butt on Mario Kart eight. Consoled me by "don't worry mom, you'll get better at it!" I was old compared to her, it was no debate. She continued by winning the next seven rounds. "Mom, I want you to lie next to me when I fall asleep," he said. I tugged him in and brushed his hair with my fingers. And I fell asleep right then and there in the same small bed. Happy about being their mother.

In life, there are always challenges. There are those that happen to us, like sudden big changes in life, and then there are those we deliberately choose to face, like a university degree or moving to another country. However, this time I'll choose to talk about my 2017 twelve monthly challenges. In the beginning of the year, I took upon myself to see through 12 monthly challenges. Right now I'm running six days behind on my May gratitude challenge, which is kind of a big deal for me, as I've been able to keep up with the challenges more or less on the right days. But I'm still going on, still keeping myself busy. Image: pixabay.com In January I did a Notes from the Universe challenge that was very eye opening. I wrote letters to my future self, I lived and breathed my dreams every day and I do feel overall only good things came out of it. In February I did a writing challenge. Some of the days I just wanted to brush off quickly and I allowed myse

Traditionally Finns are known for being quiet, unable to do small talk, introverted bunch of people who are the unyielding champions of seeking ways to keep their sacred personal space. This, of course, is the stereotype of a traditional Finn and does not apply to everyone without compromises here and there. Having lived a third of my life outside the borders of Finland, I have had to shed some of the traditional expectations off just to keep my sanity. I consciously try to stand closer to people that I would normally seek to do. I kiss people on the cheek when I notice they are about to do just that. I talk sometimes when there's a quiet moment and I express myself a lot with my face. (On a side note: the Finnish F1 driver Kimi Räikkönen, who is known for his expressionless face, has something inexplicably in common with my features: once I was standing at a bus station in Italy and a person approached me to ask me if I was Finnish, because I looked so much like Räikkönen. Ano

There is an incredible amount of great stories that have spoken to me in my life, but possibly above all is the story written by Andy Weir (the same guy who wrote The Martian ) called The Egg . I have been advertising it so much lately that needless to say it's possibly my absolute favorite story. Now I'm going to tell you why. If you have yet to read the story, it's available here . SPOILER ALERT! Image: pixabay.com The Egg is human eggistence existence, on its course to mature into a God-like deity. Our experiences in all of the specter are here to mold us into that who has experienced what it means to be human. All of our consciousnesses derive from the same source and in that sense we're all ONE. The consciousness that is writing this, is the same consciousness that wrote The Egg and is the same consciousness of you right there reading these stories. Having always been interested in reincarnation and "the human experience" and being som

I got completely stuck with my gratitude challenge, when I was asked to show gratitude to a SONG. I thought about it every day and could not figure out which song(s) I should pick. I love music, but I love so much of it that nothing seemed to be distinguishably better than the next song. Of course I like some better than the others, but there just isn't a song that is my absolute favorite year after year. So, in the end, I realized I'm going to write the things music has gotten me to do. If it wasn't for Fool's Garden's "Lemon Tree" , I would've never realized how much you can learn a language through singing. I was around 10 years of age when it was a big hit and with my class, we sang it to our parents at the end of the school year. I still know the lyrics by heart... The same counts for the movie the Sound of Music . If it wasn't for Italian opera, I would have never chosen Italy for my exchange student year. If it wasn't for Stroma

It's the phone call, the message, the card in the mail, the letter from a person whose handwriting I recognize immediately. It's the teacher that takes the time to help my children to be the best versions of themselves. It's that person who says a kind word, that who helps unconditionally, that who includes, invites. It's the person that celebrates your victories and hugs you surprisingly. That person who asks you to go out to enjoy life and that person who comes to your house and helps you take care of business. It's also the person who rubs me the wrong way and with this teaches me immensely about myself and life. Image: pixabay.com As a matter of fact, I'm grateful for people in general in my life. The older I get, the more I get that we need all kinds of people and circumstances in our lives. Stars need the darkness to shine not only metaphorically, but in reality. If you only experience one side of everything, you can't truly define what you'

I recently read about the 36 questions to fall in love with anybody. Since my mother-in-law was staying with us last week, on Friday my husband and I went out for a few drinks. But before we left the house, I downloaded an app called 36 to love. Around 10 in the evening we sat down on high bar stools and I told him I'd like to give this experiment a try. Luckily he was on board immediately, curious about the process. Surely we have been together for over 10 years by now (married for nearly 7), we have children and we're all in all a somewhat regular couple with life's ups and downs. We desperately didn't need this project, but we could potentially benefit from it, so it was a no brainer for both of us. Image: pixabay.com The point of the game is to answer the question on the screen. Both participants take turns and once both are happy with each other's answers and have done the after talk that evidently follows, the question will be swiped to the left

Although art comes in many forms, I will concentrate on three pieces that I'm particularly grateful for. All of these have stirred something in me I didn't know existed before that moment. 1. Albert Edelfelt - Poltettu Kylä (Burnt Village - 1879) I remember seeing the picture of this painting in my history book sometime during elementary school and I would go back to look at it every now and again during history lessons. (Judging from this repetitive action I probably wasn't paying enough attention to the teaching.) It's a painting of peasant uprising during the Cudgel War (1596-1597) in the Kingdom of Sweden, which Finland at that point was also a part of. The painting obviously is a couple of hundreds years younger than the war itself, but nonetheless Albert Edelfelt has managed to capture some essential parts of the war: the fear, the simple weaponry, the conditions, the threat, the possibility of their lives ending in a few moments after "capturi

There was a time the first of our species took a piece of sharp rock in their hands and hit a fruit or a nut (or an enemy) with it, only to become the first one ever to use a tool. Their peers would then learn that a walnut opens much easier with a rock than with your teeth or fingernails. Knowledge was shared and passed onto generations. Little by little humans were learning cumulatively: always building on the foundation of knowledge and adding their own discoveries. 8000 BC the Sumerians grew wheat and barley and gave birth to the concept of agriculture. Only some 10 000 years later the farmed wheat had turned from a loaf of bread into a loaf of sliced bread sold in markets around the globe. Any of the following steps would not have been possible if it weren't for that first knowledge of how to cultivate wheat. There are some primal things you know, for example the smell of feces repulse you for a reason as it's something you should leave be and not stick your fin

My belly is happy, for I just had lunch. It's really hot today - I should've worn lighter shoes, but my body is regulating itself nicely. My body is using senses to code my surroundings: what I feel, see, smell and hear. My ears are located on two sides, which makes it possible for me to pinpoint the direction a sound is coming from. I've got two eyes to make sure I see things like depth. Our bodies are so amazing thanks to evolution wanting to keep us alive and kicking. And while I do all that, my autonomic nervous system takes care of the primary functions of my body: it makes sure I keep on breathing, that my heart keeps on beating, it regulates my temperature, blood pressure, digestive system and any other body function that happens without my decision, but that is essential to keep me going. Image: pixabay.com No matter if I'm awake or asleep, my brain is always aware, processing information. That's how a fire alarm wakes you up in the middle of the