Balancing unpredictability

I'm grateful I can adapt. Move to another country and become a mother, get over myself worrying about the unknown. I'm grateful I have the ability to embrace change or transform thought into words. I'm grateful I have the ability to climb out of a ditch when for a moment I've believed I wasn't enough.

Life is all we got and most of the time it's really quite good (or at least it's most of the time what you make of it). Our abilities, or rather the willingness of learning new abilities, is what partly makes is so great. In every case you'll always have more than one choice: you can accept or you can pull back from opportunities. You can say yes or no, stay or go. 

In the light of this, I'd personally say one of the abilities I have that I'm very grateful for is the ability to step into the unknown, scare myself, take a risk, big or small: start a small talk with a person without knowing what I'm going to say (when I know I am not a person who does small talk) or quit school and work and move away from family without knowing what I'll do, always remain unpredictable.

Image: pixabay.com

If you ask my husband, after a decade with me he'll still tell you I'm unpredictable. He can't bet at all what comes out of my mouth next and what I've planned. I bet it's tough at times, too, but he so far has never complained about having a wife he is still learning to know.

But then there's the other part, too. Certain parts of me are steady as a rock. Being naturally spontaneous, steadiness is an ability I've had to learn after becoming a mother, because children need a level of stability to feel secure. My kids know they can ask a hug anytime and when they are troubled, they know I'll listen without judgment and won't break into a spontaneous tap dance when they need me focused.

It all comes back to the beginning: I'm grateful I have the ability to adapt, balance between the unpredictable and steady, and always learn something new. It's all a bit me-me-me this time, but hey, it's after midnight, which makes this Mother's Day and after all I feel I have deserved this particular pat on my own back.

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