Memories

My grandparents used to live in the same house with me, just upstairs of my family's home, when I was a child. As a child I never realized how lucky I was with such rare living arrangements: my parents and grandparents had bought the house together, albeit it was an unusual thing to do in Finland at that time. This said, I got to spend time with my grandparents every day during winter and when the snow had melted, they would back up their car and drive to their summer place. My family had a summer place right next to theirs, so when the school was out, I spent a lot of time with my grandparents at the cottage while both of my parents were at work.

My paternal grandparents.

There are an incredibly rich amount of memories I have from my childhood with them: their strawberry patch at the summer place, the way my grandpa could peel an apple and make the peel into one long string without breaking it. I remember the evenings they took me with them in the boat when they went to check their fishing nets. Sometimes I got to row the boat too, which was the best thing I knew. I remember the timeless house they had and the boring playroom that made sure we'd go out in the nature looking for things to do.

When they got older, my grandpa got sick. His memory and legs weren't working. I moved to another country when I was 16 years old for an exchange program. I sent them mail and I got to hear my grandpa reads my postcards every day over and over again. I'm grateful that even though I was not there much during his last year, I was still able to give him some window to somewhere. He passed away a few hours before New Year's Eve in 2002.

I moved to another city from my grandmother. I met her occasionally when visiting my parents back at home. Then I moved to another country and would meet her only once or twice a year. She was always telling me it might be the last time we saw each other.

My grandmother is the girl with the light dress in the back.

The actual last time I saw her, Christmas days in 2012, she told me about the things she regrets: staying at home all her life, never getting the chance to see how it was to work outside the house. She was raising five children (three of her own). As much as she had loved the time with the children, all of them, she was feeling she had not tried enough of other things. I'm so grateful for these insightful words. She passed away in February 2013.

The girl on the left is my grandma's sister, who's now my "grandma", too.

Last September I visited my parents for a few days and I saw my grandma's sister. I had not seen her since I had seen my grandmother, and I had completely forgotten how much they are alike. When I saw her standing there in the living room of my parents, with the same body language as my grandmother, with the same hair, with a very similar face, I went to hug her and I cried realizing how much I miss my grandmother. My great aunt then proceeded to hug me and said to me she also misses her sister a lot, but she'd be happy to be my grandmother from now on, which made me cry even harder. I'm grateful she was there just when I needed that hug and those words.

Ultimately one of the best memories I have about my grandparents is my grandma drawing my back with her fingers, especially at the summer house when I wanted to sleep. Legacy lives on, since this is exactly what I do now with my own children, too.

My grandmother around 2005.