Day 10: What if
What if I had never stopped to read the bulletin board at school when I was 13 years old?
There was an ad about exchange students looking for a home. I told my parents and they were surprisingly on board. A few months later an exchange student arrived from Brazil and lived with us for a full year. Her time in our home inspired me to apply in the same exchange student program. I wanted to go to New Zealand or Australia.
What if I never sat in that music class when my teacher was showing us an Italian opera?
I had the exchange program papers in my bag. I listened to Italian and realized I don't need to go to an English speaking country - I already knew English. The year abroad would be an opportunity for me to learn a completely new language. I took those papers out and wrote "1" next to Italy.
What if my first host sister wasn't so lonely and didn't feel like she needed a catalogue friend?
I would have been placed somewhere else in Italy. Now I was sent close to Venice. I had to change host families during my time, but what happened during the first few months was important for the rest of my life. I missed my friends in Finland. I was allowed 1 hour computer time and so I went to mIRC chatrooms to talk to my friends. Sometimes I'd have to wait for them so I'd spark up conversations with strangers. One of those strangers was a man from the Netherlands.
What if he was accepted in Finland when he applied a post-doc place there?
He ended up moving to the US for a few years. If he arrived to Finland at that time, it might've been a whole different story for us. We never even met at that point, but if he lived in Finland, we might've looked each other up sooner rather than later. For us it was essential that he'd go to the States and I'd grow independent during that time.
What if he was absent from his computer that night when I sent him a message "what if it's you?"
Because that's when he thought the same question. Some months later he came to see me in Finland and only a few months later I moved to Amsterdam to live with him.
What if he found a job someplace else other than Delft? What if I started working outside home?
Would we have those same three kids we have now? Would we have settled with one or two? Would we have more? This is nearly impossible to think about, because when you look at your children, you just know these are the children you are supposed to have.
I sometimes think of "what if's", but in the end those don't matter. You just swipe that sweat off of your forehead, close your eyes and say "thank you" for ending up right here right now.
Thank you, Universe, truly, thank you!
There was an ad about exchange students looking for a home. I told my parents and they were surprisingly on board. A few months later an exchange student arrived from Brazil and lived with us for a full year. Her time in our home inspired me to apply in the same exchange student program. I wanted to go to New Zealand or Australia.
What if I never sat in that music class when my teacher was showing us an Italian opera?
I had the exchange program papers in my bag. I listened to Italian and realized I don't need to go to an English speaking country - I already knew English. The year abroad would be an opportunity for me to learn a completely new language. I took those papers out and wrote "1" next to Italy.
What if my first host sister wasn't so lonely and didn't feel like she needed a catalogue friend?
I would have been placed somewhere else in Italy. Now I was sent close to Venice. I had to change host families during my time, but what happened during the first few months was important for the rest of my life. I missed my friends in Finland. I was allowed 1 hour computer time and so I went to mIRC chatrooms to talk to my friends. Sometimes I'd have to wait for them so I'd spark up conversations with strangers. One of those strangers was a man from the Netherlands.
What if he was accepted in Finland when he applied a post-doc place there?
He ended up moving to the US for a few years. If he arrived to Finland at that time, it might've been a whole different story for us. We never even met at that point, but if he lived in Finland, we might've looked each other up sooner rather than later. For us it was essential that he'd go to the States and I'd grow independent during that time.
What if he was absent from his computer that night when I sent him a message "what if it's you?"
Because that's when he thought the same question. Some months later he came to see me in Finland and only a few months later I moved to Amsterdam to live with him.
What if he found a job someplace else other than Delft? What if I started working outside home?
Would we have those same three kids we have now? Would we have settled with one or two? Would we have more? This is nearly impossible to think about, because when you look at your children, you just know these are the children you are supposed to have.
I sometimes think of "what if's", but in the end those don't matter. You just swipe that sweat off of your forehead, close your eyes and say "thank you" for ending up right here right now.
Thank you, Universe, truly, thank you!
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